Driving 'Home' For Christmas
by smilelikey0umeanit
Summary: Joint fic by me and BethyBoo97. Sandra has been invited back to London for Christmas dinner with Gerry and the team, but does she really want to go?


_**Disclaimer: Unfortunately neither of us own New Tricks.**_

Driving 'Home' For Christmas

God knows why she had decided to drive the entire 289 miles from Paris to London. She could have easily taken the plane, or even the Eurostar, but no, that was too simple for Sandra Pullman. Hence why she was currently waiting in a queue of cars which stretched farther than she could see, eventually leading on to the ferry that would take her to Dover.

The reason why she'd chosen to delay her journey was something she had only admitted to herself recently, if she was being truly honest. Over the past few weeks, ever since she'd received a cheery phone call from Gerry inviting her to Christmas dinner, she'd been trying to put her worries to one side by focusing on work, but now she had no choice except to face them head on. The truth was, she was nervous about reuniting with Gerry and Brian. Everything that had happened between them during those last few months as a team, Jack leaving under such strange circumstances, Brian's past returning to haunt him, her upping sticks to France so suddenly and being replaced by this Sasha woman... It had inevitably created chasms within their tight knit family, divides that couldn't be simply be resolved over a glass of mulled wine and a piece of Christmas cake. As she'd expected, contact had been growing steadily sparser between the three of them since she'd left. She was aware that they probably thought she was living the perfect life abroad, with the perfect job and the perfect boyfriend. Well, she wasn't.

The job was good, on the whole. She thrived on the responsibility placed on her shoulders when Max was away. Her personal life, on the other hand, wasn't a shadow of what it was in London, with her boys. The team here were friendly, polite, but at the end of the day they were all cosmopolitan young Parisians, and she had little in common with them. Her only real link between her old life and this one was Max, but things had quickly gone pear shaped between them. She should have known from the start. Still, at least they'd managed to salvage a friendship from the wreckage of their failed relationship. That was better than most of her exes had achieved.

She sighed, craning her neck to spot signs of movement in the queue before her. Maybe the Eurostar would have been a better idea after all.

Once she was finally sat down on the boat, she seemed a bit calmer, although the young family in the next booth of seats who were trying to feed their two screaming children were doing nothing to further calm her nerves. Noisy children was an inevitable occurrence and couldn't have been avoided regardless of what mode of transport she'd picked. In truth, despite the fact she appeared annoyed, the noise was a welcome distraction. It took her mind off the feeling of no longer fitting in. The thought was one that scared her. She knew that the children couldn't scream for the full hour and a half so instead pleaded with who or whatever was looking down on her for another distraction.

She wandered around duty free for a while, in search of gifts for Gerry, Brian and Esther but there was a feeling of guilt growing in the pit of her stomach as she realised that in the months since she'd left, anything could have happened. Although she kept in touch with her friends, little things like changes in preferences or habits were not something that made it in to their brief conversations. She wandered around a bit longer before picking up a bottle of posh whiskey and a mega pack of cigarettes: when it came to Gerry, old habits die hard. For Esther, she picked up some perfume, that when she tested it reminded her of her friend. Brian posed the biggest problem as he was the one that, despite hating change, altered the most in the quickest time.

After spending forty minutes shopping or what you could even call torturing herself with thoughts of how her friends could have changed, she decided to treat herself to a cooked lunch. After having found herself a vacant table, she stared down at what realistically was lukewarm reheated food, and food that in all honesty didn't look edible.

When she'd finished the disgusting but surprisingly edible food that she'd called lunch she noticed people collecting by the stairs, and a vision of white in the distance caught her eye as she peered out of the window. As the ferry pulled into the port, an overhead announcement disturbed her thoughts again, mainly of panic at being back home. Could she even call this her home anymore?

Having returned to her car like most other people, only to find herself stuck behind a car whose owner hadn't returned, she once again mentally cursed herself for picking the ferry over all other methods of travel.

She'd been conflicted whilst waiting in the queue to depart the ferry. On one hand, she'd wanted to get going, to get this whole thing over and done with and return to her anonymous existence in France, but the other part of her was enjoying the comfort of returning to the country where she'd lived her whole life.

Now that she was back on the road though, she definitely felt better. Steadier. She caught sight of the presents on the back seat as she looked in the front mirror and smiled to herself. Deep down, she knew that they would love them. But it wasn't the presents that were the problem. The problem would be the awkward silences, the unintentional eye contact…those little things that portrayed how different they had really become.

The loud ringing of her phone suddenly made her jump, providing a harsh contrast against the quiet background music on the radio that jolted her out of her contemplative mood. Still focusing on the road, she set it to the handsfree mode and pressed the answer button, already having an inkling who it was.

"Gerry."

"Happy Christmas Sandra! Just checking whereabouts you are, I need to know what time to start the veg…" she heard some clanging in the background, clearly he was in the kitchen. "Are you alright? You sound a bit off."  
"Yeah, sorry, I'm just tired I suppose. I'm just driving through Dartford now, I shouldn't be too long but it depends on the traffic." She replied, quickly changing the subject.

"Alright then, I'll see you in a bit, bye." He cut off the conversation.

She frowned, unnerved at how little he had spoken to her. Still, she reassured herself, he probably didn't want to disturb her whilst she was driving. Plus she'd forgotten to say Merry Christmas. He was probably annoyed at her for that. He absolutely loved Christmas. Bloody hell. This was going to be even more awkward now.

_**A/N: More soon, reviews welcome as always. Beth and Eden x**_


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